The goal of a nanny search is not to find a “perfect” person. It is to find a qualified caregiver whose experience, judgment, communication, schedule, and expectations align with your family for the long term.
For families in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary, Apex, and nearby Triangle communities, a clear role and consistent evaluation process make the search more productive for everyone.
Define the role before interviewing
Write down the schedule, start date, children’s ages, required commitment, driving, travel, pets, and the difference between child-related duties and broader household work. Decide which items are essential and which are preferences.
If the role includes family-assistant or household-manager responsibilities, allow enough scheduled time and compensation for those duties. Our guide to nannies, family assistants, and household managers can help clarify the position.
Evaluate relevant experience
Look beyond a total number of years. Ask about experience with your children’s ages, similar schedules, developmental needs, sibling dynamics, driving, travel, or household responsibilities. Request specific examples of routines, challenges, and decisions.
A candidate can have excellent experience without having worked in a household identical to yours. Consider transferable judgment, willingness to learn, and how clearly the nanny explains their approach.
Discuss communication and values
Ask how the candidate gives daily updates, raises concerns, handles feedback, and works through disagreements. Compare approaches to discipline, screen time, sleep, food, outings, privacy, and social media.
Mutual fit matters. The nanny should also be able to ask candid questions about your parenting priorities, household boundaries, and management style.
Verify references thoughtfully
Speak directly with professional childcare references. Confirm dates, schedule, children’s ages, duties, reliability, communication, strengths, and reason the role ended. Ask whether the reference would rehire the candidate and what management style helped the nanny succeed.
References and background screening complement one another; neither replaces a careful interview or ongoing communication. Read more about responsible nanny screening.
Review safety preparation
Current pediatric CPR and first-aid training is strongly preferred and may be required for a position. Ask how the candidate responds to emergencies, follows medication and allergy plans, uses car seats, and communicates incidents.
There is no universal “SIDS certification.” For infant care, ask about evidence-based safe-sleep practices aligned with current guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics. The AAP’s HealthyChildren.org provides a current safe-sleep guide for families.
Plan legal pay and benefits
A nanny is generally a household employee when the family controls the work setting, schedule, and duties. Discuss gross pay, payroll, overtime, guaranteed hours, paid time off, holidays, sick time, mileage or expense reimbursement, and any health or professional-development contribution.
Families should review current household-employment requirements and consult qualified payroll, tax, or legal professionals when needed. Our 2026 nanny-tax overview explains the starting points.
Use a written employment agreement
The agreement should cover schedule, duties, compensation, benefits, confidentiality, driving, travel, guests, cameras, communication, performance reviews, notice, and the process for changing the role. Clear terms reduce misunderstandings and give both sides a reference point.
Consider a working interview
A paid working interview can show how the nanny and family communicate in real time. Define the length, pay, responsibilities, and parent involvement in advance. A working interview is still work and should not replace references or screening.
Discuss long-term expectations
Ask what commitment each side can realistically make, how the role may change as children enter school, and what professional growth the nanny wants. Talk about schedule stability, raises or reviews, future family additions, relocation, and notice expectations.
Start your Triangle nanny search
Learn about our process, review our candidate standards and family FAQ, or apply for a long-term placement.
Last reviewed August 2026. This article provides general information and is not legal, medical, or tax advice.
